I got accepted for an internship interview, passed that, got all my immunizations for it, paid $100 for training, passed the clearance appointment, bought the clothes for the dress code all in the span of a week…and then fucked everything up by showing up late to the first day of training due to traffic.
School was starting/started during that time and the amounting pressures of having to get this for that and that for this made me feel so panicked and emotional that I felt like dying.
On top of that (and it may seem trivial while reading this) I missed my period. For a week.
But yesterday—after getting turned away, my invitation to the internship ripped from my hands, and crying softly inside my car while telling my mom what happened—I finally felt free.
It only took a short self-assessment to realize the internship was definitely not for me, not only from a “I’m not going to be a doctor or a nurse so why am I going to do patient care in a hospital” standpoint, but also from the internal and external stress that this process has caused.
I’m supposed to do something that makes me happy, not just something that looks good on paper.
And what do you know? I’m on my period. Who knew I’d miss it? (Minus the bleeding, the cramps, the bloating, the cramps, the “splooging,” the cramps…)